Maddi's Story

This beautiful baby girl has made a dramatic entrance into our lives, and because of that I had to wait a bit before finding the time or words to tell her story which includes the story of our family over the last 8 1/2 months also.  Hopefully it can provide some insight for other families who are blessed (yes, blessed! Because of Madelyn, we have been blessed abundantly and so has she) with a heart baby, or a baby with feeding problems.  I found hope and support from God, our wonderful family and friends, church, and also from blogs of people who were going through or had gone through similar experiences.

Madelyn Grace Hempel was born on October 30th, 2013 around 9 pm ( I forgot the time! Guess I need to find that somewhere) at 6 lbs 6 oz.  I was SO happy that I went into labor on my own and had the natural birth that I dreamed of.  We went down to Mercy Hospital in Des Moines (about 40 minutes away from home) to have her because we knew that there was a possibility that she had a heart problem.  My first ultrasound around 19 weeks showed that her Aorta was smaller than it should have been and so I had ultrasounds done once a month until my last month of pregnancy where I had 4 or 5 ultrasounds done before she was born.  After the first 2 ultrasounds which confirmed that her aorta was small, the cardiologist had decided on her 3rd ultrasound that her aorta had grown and was catching up and so her outcome would be that she might not need surgery at birth, or that if she did need some medical correction on her heart it would just be to put in a catheter balloon and use that to open her aortic valve which would allow for her aorta to grow.  What a blessing it was to hear this news!  Even though it didn't happen this way, Randy was making decisions on where to work and when and if we knew that Maddi would need serious heart surgery right after birth, we would have stayed in Oklahoma and not taken his job in Iowa.  But Iowa is where we needed to be- for multiple reasons- especially for Maddi to get the great heart surgeon and care that she received.
It was quite a shock and very upsetting to me when Maddi was born because the first thing that happened was not what I was used to.  They didn't put her directly on my chest and let me hold her and nurse her.  She was taken to a table (picture above) and they listened to her heart and checked her out.  I got to hold her for 1 minute after a very long 15 or so while the cardiac team looked her over.  After holding her, she was taken to the NICU where the Pediatric Cardiologist would come and do an echo cardiogram on her.  I was so mad.  After all, they were blowing things WAAAAY out of proportion!  There was nothing wrong with my baby! All of my last ultrasounds were good!  I thought so anyways.  And she looked so good and pink.... So beautiful.

It seemed like forever before I was released and able to go upstairs to the NICU to be with Maddi and Randy.  ( I sent him up there to watch her)  When I got there the cardiologist was there too, doing the echo.  He was talking quietly to a student who was with him.  Even I could see on the screen that things were not right.  They kept going over and over her heart.  The longer he took, the more my heart sunk and reality set in.  I just sat in my wheelchair next to Maddi and held her hand and longed to hold her and let her be a baby in my arms while I nursed her.  That is MY job, to hold my baby and feed her.  The cardiologist finished his echo and sat down to talk to Randy and I.  We were told that her heart was very strong looking and good.  She had all of the chambers of her heart.... but her aorta was way too small and the valve wasn't working.  She had aortic stenosis with an interrupted aortic arch and a VSD (ventricular septal defect).

Of the two pictures below, the upper one is what her heart looked like after birth, and the picture below that is what it should have looked like.  (There are little notes on the pictures made by the cardiologist which can help you understand it better if you click to enlarge it.)  Anyway, Maddi's aorta was too small because of low blood flow from her aortic valve being too small.  That also caused her interrupted aortic arch- where the aorta split and only had a couple of the arteries on it (the ones that go to her head).  The other 2 arteries were on her PDA which is an artery that all babies have but it closes off at about 48 hours after birth.  Maddi's pulmonary valve was a little enlarged, and she had a VSD (hole between the 2 ventricles).  SO, extensive problems.  These problems meant that we could not take Maddi home to wait for surgery, and surgery had to be soon or she wouldn't make it.  The cardiologist put her on a prostaglandin to keep the PDA open until surgery.

OK, I thought- now we know, so now I can nurse her, right?  Boy was I in for a huge blow, and I didn't even know how big of an effect it would have on our lives at the moment, but I knew it wasn't good and I didn't like it.  The NICU nurses told me that because they weren't sure about the blood flow to her lower extremities she couldn't eat until after surgery.  Just to make sure she didn't have milk sitting in her stomach or intestines that would cause infection and more issues.  They didn't want me to hold her more than an hour a day to make sure she stayed calm and her heart stable.  So I was a huge wreck for the next 3 days.  It felt so wrong to have a baby and not hold her or feed her.  I knew that it all made sense, but I strongly disliked those nurses because they were the reason I couldn't treat her like a normal baby.  Really it wasn't them, but I needed someone to blame it on I guess, and they were doing things the way they had been taught.
One day, I think day 3, I was having a huge break-down and Randy was at home with our other 3 girls.  I cried on one nurses shoulder, and then went to NICU with Maddi and a lactation consultant came in and I cried on her shoulder.  I was so upset that I couldn't hold Maddi more.  I told her all of my concerns.... I couldn't hold my baby because they were worried about it upsetting her but I knew that being held my her mother could actually make her feel better.  I couldn't feed her, but they could give her drops of sugar water to calm her down.  Why not give her drops of breast milk? This lactation consultant totally understood and went to my nurse and convinced them all to give me more motherly freedom.  The rest of the week went so much better.  I spent it holding Maddi kangaroo style, singing to her, telling her stories.  I loved changing her diaper and eventually feeding her 5mls of breast milk every 5 hours.  I looked forward to any thing that was close to normal.

                                               

My mom showed up to help take care of Kenadi, Emma, and Mya while I was at the hospital all week.  Randy would switch me and I went home on the weekend for one night.  It was so hard to be at the hospital all of time feeling guilty that I wasn't with our other girls, and when I was home I felt guilty that I wasn't with Maddi.  I missed Randy so much too.  He was the one person who really understood my feelings and I could hardly see him.  

Surgery day finally came.  It was so exhausting getting to that point, and I had mixed feelings about it arriving.  I just wanted it to be over so she could start healing and we could get closer to a normal life, but I was so worried that she wouldn't make it.  But right before they took her away she grabbed Randy's finger as if to say, "Don't worry Daddy, I'll be ok".

We had so many miracles happen on that day.  Maddi's surgery went well. The only glitch was that when they tried to put her aorta back together the main artery that went down her left arm was a little tight so it had to be cut off.  This wasn't a big deal because a baby's body will compensate and grow new vessels.  An adults arm would be useless without that main artery.  The whole time she was in I felt the prayers of hundreds of people working on her behalf and even on mine.  I had a feeling of comfort that whatever happened, Heavenly Father knew her, he knew our family, and it would all be ok.  I knew that this was because of prayers and fasting.  She went in at 7 am and we didn't see her until 5:30 that night.  When we were briefed by the surgeon at 5:30, he looked exhausted, but happy about it. 

Out of Order

I decided that I always post our trip in order of who we visited 1st-last, but I think I'll go out of order this time!  Today I'm going to do Randy's mom's house, which was our last stop.
 

 Randy's Grandma lives in a nursing home close to Randy's Mom and Step-dad's house.  We all got to visit her once together, and then Randy went every day after that with his mom.  In this picture he is with his brother Mark.  Mark was so nice to stay as long as he could to be with us and catch up with Randy.  Randy loved that.  Anyway, we enjoyed getting to visit with Grandma.

 On our visit with everyone to the nursing home Randy's mom got to entertain the kids with Grandma's wheelchair in the hall.  They had so much fun getting rides down the hall.  She had fun with her grandkids- although the amount of rides she had to give might have been a little much.  =) They never wanted it to end!

 Randy's mom lives in the beautiful Washington country.  They have a little land and therefore a tractor and other fun things for kids to climb all over.  The little boy in the pictures is their cousin, Payton, who got to spend the week with us there.  The girls had so much fun with him.

 They have this beautiful lake and river that goes to the lake right out their back yard.  The kids went on a walk with Randy down to the river/lake when I was in town shopping with his mom.  =)  That made everyone happy.

 Mom bought the grand-kids a slip-n-slide and they were on it ALL DAY.  I mean, over, and over, and over again.  It was definitely a hit.  They were so sore the next day.  We also got to have a family bonfire complete with s'mores, and a day at the Moses Lake pool.  We had such a great visit.

 Randy, Mom, Kenadi, Mya, Emma (left to right, top to bottom)

Oh, and this is the only picture I got of John the whole time!  He was busy working so not around as much.

After we left Mom and John's house, we headed back on our long journey to Oklahoma.  WAY too long.  But I just keep dreaming about this delicious, expensive (for a milkshake) but worth it, milkshake.  OHHHH, I WILL stop here every time I drive this way.  Can you guess what kind it is?  Nothing but my favorite, huckleberry. 

 Now this has nothing to do with our trip, but I thought I'd give a few updates of what happens at home.  EVERY single time I go somewhere with Emma and Mya, they bring an armload of babies, horses, puppies, baby doll strollers, baby doll carseats.... etc.  Every time.  I can't get them to leave them home.  But I can make them leave them in the van, so at least we don't haul all of that into stores and stuff.  But still.  It's crazy.

And Kenadi has hardly any teeth left in her head.  She keeps losing them faster than she's growing them back.  She looks hilarious.

So Much Has Been Happening

We finally got to go home to visit our family this summer!  So, I'm going to post pictures in stages- this the time I spent on my way to NW Washington.  I took the girls from Oklahoma to Idaho Falls in 2 days, then stayed with my sister Haley for a couple of days.  I was lucky because our youngest sister Jenna was staying with Haley and was able to drive with me to northern Idaho and stay with our grandparents and then over to West Washington where our parents live.  The trip was SOOO long.  Well, the driving part anyway.  I have so many pictures of the girls conked out in their car seats.  They handled the drive up there pretty well.  On the way home to Oklahoma Mya hated it and was pretty difficult, but at least I had Randy with me then.

 I think Kenadi or Emma fixed Jenna's hair in this pic.  =)  Left to right: Jenna, Mya, Paige, Haley, Kenadi, me, Emma, and Sadie.

Haley was so sweet and took us in for a few days and Paige was only a month old.  I had such a good time with her and Jenna.  It was so good to see my beautiful sisters!

 Little cousins.

 I LOVE my family!  I was so happy I got to see Lois and Mike (my aunt and uncle- my dad's sister). They were like my parents when I was at college and they took Randy in as a son too.  Their kids/my cousins all live around there and I got to visit with at least one of them.  What a fun, loving family. I had so much fun visiting them.

 Kenadi, Emma, Mya and Sadie got along pretty well too.  They had so much fun playing ponies and swimming together.  My girls couldn't get enough of Haley's newest baby, Paige.  She was so adorable!

 On to Northern Idaho!  This is my grandparents barn- it's now a "store" or kids play fort made into something like a store.  The girls would climb the TALL ladder up there and play for a long time.  My grandparents farm is a paradise- for adults and kids.  The girls loved to just explore and not be under my thumb all of the time.  I loved to see their independence.

 My cute grandma.  If only I could have her energy.

 Grandma, Kenadi, Mya, Jenna, and Emmy

 Big, pregnant, me- and the rest of them.  =)

 Kenadi, Grandpa, and Emmy.  He is so good with the little girls.  

 The raspberries were in season, and the girls spent a LOT of time raspberry hunting.  yum!

 This is the upper pond at my grandparents house.  There are 2 small islands and a bridge that grandpa built to one of them.  So peaceful.

 In the field.  It was nice to have Jenna with me to help take pictures.  =)  

These are a few of the pictures I took... I WILL post the rest of the trip and in a timely manner!

A Favorite Cookie Recipe of Mine

I posted on Facebook today a picture of all of the bread I made and a batch of cookies.  The bread recipe is already on this blog- here's the link to the page because it was written a long time ago: Bread recipe.  I wrote it for 2 loaves, but it is easily doubled.  I always make 4 at a time.

The cookies are a chocolate chip cookie recipe that I've perfected to my tastes, and I must say they are perfect!  (for my family anyway)
Here Goes:
Tara's chocolate chip cookies
1/2 C butter
1/2 C shortening ( plain or butter flavored is fine) ( this helps them not flatten out so much)
3/4 C brown sugar
3/4 C white sugar
2 large eggs
1 t vanilla
1 t salt
1 t baking soda
2 C whole wheat flour
1 C white flour
1 bag chocolate chips

Cream butter, shortening, and sugars.  About 3 minutes, or until it is really creamy and lighter in color.  Add eggs and vanilla and mix in.  Add the rest of the dry ingredients (flours, salt, baking soda) and mix well.  Add chocolate chips last.  Bake at 375 degrees for 8 minutes.

If you want an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie, do the same recipe until the flour, and instead add: 1 C whole wheat flour, 1 3/4 cup white flour and 1 1/2 cup quick oats.

• Here's the Key: I love my cookies thicker, and soft in the middle so I add the shortening to help the cookie stay more round and I have more flour than other chocolate chip cookie recipes.  
• Another thing- put your cookies on the cookie sheet in a round ball and don't flatten it out.  
• Make sure you take them out at 8 minutes or as soon as you start seeing the first tiny bit of golden brown color on them.  Not all over it, but just on the highest tip of the cookie or whatever.  They wont look done, but when you take them out they will continue cooking on the sheet for a bit, so they will be perfect.  
• Transfer to wire racks after they've sat about 5 minutes on the cookie sheet.

Oklahoma, OK

I'm pretty sure I've aged 20 years in my 7 years of being here.  5 of those years were within the last week.  All of these tornadoes have gotten uncomfortably close, and I don't think I can make it another year here.  Just when I'm starting to get comfortable and think that I could stay forever, a tornado, or hail, or an earthquake, or excessive 100+ degree heat comes to bring me back to reality.  I do like Oklahoma though.  I will be really sad to leave it, and our wonderful friends and ward here.  People in Oklahoma are genuine.  They are kind, thoughtful, resilient, strong, and not weak.  I think all of the crazy stuff that happens here has brought people together.  They love God, and they aren't afraid to talk about Him, and praise Him.  They realize all of the blessings He has given them- even in times of tragedy.  That's something I don't remember noticing in Oregon.  I LOVE Oregon, but I don't remember Oregonians being so willing to talk about God, or religion there.  (Correct me if I remember wrong, my Oregonian friends.)  These are things I want to remember about my friends here- and the people here.  Living here is not for the faint of heart.  It has strengthened me, and grounded me.  Reminded me of what is most important- people, not things. 

 During this last tornado that came about 2 miles from our house, (it was actually heading straight for us until it made a sudden turn south) we had our most important things with us in our neighbors storm shelter- our family.  I even thought, "this tornado could take our house completely out, and I'd be ok.  I would be sad, but it would all be ok".  Which is true.  I think that's crazy that I could think that way, but you know, it's just me realizing that as long as my husband and children are ok, we can rebuild together.  Family is what matters, not stuff.  

I still feel so sad and heartbroken for all of the people who lost their homes, and especially family members.  I'm so sorry for them.  I still pray for them, and will look for ways to serve them.  We went down to our friend's cabin last weekend and drove through Moore.  It was as bad as it looks on tv.  Here are some pictures of our drive through.

 Here are some pictures of us on Friday night as we hunkered down with our good neighbor, Grandpa Curtis, in his shelter:

I just think Mya's face is hilarious in this picture.

Randy Emma and Mya were watching the shelter door and listening to the huge hail pound it.

The rest of the pictures are of us at the cabin/lake by the cabin.  It was so wonderful to get away for the weekend and bond as a family.  We needed to just relax and enjoy each other, and that's just what we did.

These pictures are not in order, but the temperature was so nice the first day ( a little chilly at first when you got in the water, but really nice after you were in for a couple of minutes- perfect for those on the beach).  The second day was very windy and the girls didn't last near as long in the water as they did on the first.  What was terrible, was that they asked me to jump in that chilly water and swim with them- so I did.  And as soon as I got in they were done.  So there I was, wet and cold right along with them.  It wouldn't have been so bad if the wind would have just quit.  But hey- it's Oklahoma!  It's windy here!  So, Mya spent the second day wrapped in a towel most of the time.  

 Kenadi swam for a bit, and then wrapped in a towel too.  =)

On the first day Kenadi and Emma and some friends of theirs ( family friends came down the first day of swimming to hang out on the beach with us, that was nice) made some little sand castles.  This one is a sand snowman.

 This is me and my friend Jashel and one of her little boys.  Enjoying relaxing on the beach.

 Our friends with the cabin let us use their fun little electric car to go back and forth from the beach with.  It was cute and the girls LOVED it.  

Randy and Emma ate most of the Doritos.  Emma takes after her daddy with her love of chips.  I think she'd rather have chips then a sugary treat.

 Mya has no fear of the water.  Which makes me a little fearful for her.  She would have swam out to the middle of the lake if we'd have let her.  Kenadi and Mya are similar that way.  Little fish.

 Emma's more comfortable on land.  

I love Mya's little tongue sticking out here.  She does that a lot when she's thinking.

On to a different topic- Kenadi lost her first top tooth finally.  It hung there for 3 weeks while she wouldn't let me pull it out.  That makes 3 teeth she's lost I think.  Maybe 4?